Where to Begin - Part 2

Where to Begin - Part 2

For some people there may be a question as to why I have put myself through such a drastic, life altering experience. I wish I could tell you that it was only because I was fat. Unfortunately, the answer is not that simple. For those curious enough - read on.

I was never a thin girl. Rather I was one of those “Botticelli” women, with the rounded hips, belly and full breasts. I started to gain weight in High School, but things settled out when I was around 25. By that time I was between 150 – 160 lbs. I went to the gym 5 days a week and did a 2 hour work out; one hour of weights and one hour of Aqua fitness. I looked good, felt great and was ambitious.

I had decided to move to Toronto to finish my Degree in Early Childhood Education and after 2 years in University and one working in a Day Care, I found my perfect job as a Parent Worker with the Toronto District School Board. However, the 6 months leading up to me landing the job was hellish. I experienced constant leg and joint pain. I either had extreme diarrhea or constipation. I was always nauseous and had little or no appetite. I went to the doctor’s office almost every week and they could not find anything wrong with me.

In January 1990, I woke one morning after having a terrifying nightmare. I had been dreaming that the doctors were amputating both of my legs due to cancer. I was in terrible pain and it seemed nobody believed something was happening to me. My partner at the time, Scott, took me to the Toronto East General Hospital and I swore that I would not leave that hospital until somebody found out what was wrong with me.

Once in Emergency, I waited there for 2 days while they ran every test they could think of; ectopic pregnancy, appendicitis, cancer, ovarian cysts, bowel obstruction, gall bladder stones, kidney stones on and on and on. Finally, they admitted me for no other reason than my white cell count had gone through the roof.

Then I developed a fever of 105°F for a period of 5 days. I don’t remember much about that other than the nurses bathing me, with what felt like freezing, water, then changing my sheets a lot, being really cold or way too hot, and just being really tired and wanting to sleep. I remember at one point thinking that it would be okay if I fell asleep and died. I was just too tired to fight anymore.

I guess the whole time this was going on the doctors were still running tests because one day the fever broke and I started to feel more like myself. My new partner in health, my gastroenterologist, Dr. Appell, come in one day and told me I had Crohn’s disease. I started to cry. He said that things would be okay, that Crohn’s was a treatable disease. I told him that that wasn’t it, I was crying because there really was something wrong with me, and it was not just in my head, and that now I would be able to get help.

What I didn’t realize was that the cure was just as bad as the disease. I was put on a drug called Prednisone, a steroid. When I was on the drug I would gain about 100lbs and when the Crohn’s would flare up I would loose about 60 – 80 lbs.

Eating while on Prednisone was bizarre. The drug made me so hungry. I am not talking about the “oh I think I am hungry” pains one gets but the “my god! I am so hungry, that if I don’t get food now I will eat my own arm” hungry. I had absolutely no sensation of fullness and while I was on the drug I ate almost constantly. I also retained lots of fluids and puffed up like a balloon.

A cycle of yearly admissions to the hospital began. Every year around January I would start to get sick and end up in the hospital in February on massive doses of prednisone. Sometimes the stays were short 1 - 2 weeks sometime longer; the longest being 6 months.

Now let me jump in here and tell you that the body does produce about 7mg of prednisone naturally. But I was taking 100 – 150mg a day for almost 5 years straight. The worst part is that when anyone takes the drug orally, the body stops producing it so when one tries to come off the drug one often experiences a flair up of the illness that the drug is treating.

Now you do the math. I was no longer 160 lbs. Rather I was close to 270lbs. My partner, Scott and I had separated. My life had changed too drastically for him to handle and both of us were miserable in the relationship. After the separation, I had my last major stay at Toronto East General and it was on this occasion that I was put on a new drug called Mercaptopurine. It is an immune system suppressant. The logic was that Crohn’s disease is in response to an overactive immune system - so the body attacks itself. If the immune system is suppressed enough then the Crohn’s become inactive, though a chronic condition that is still potentially fatal, with occasional flair ups. After a year of getting back on my feet, with the help of many friends (special thanks to Linda Watters), I faced the world wondering when I was going to get sick again.

I watched that February roll by without needing a hospital stay. Two years passed and I was still fine. I went to Dr. Appell and we agreed that I was lucky enough to have found a drug that put the Crohn’s in remission. The tests confirmed it. I had old scars in my large bowel, but no active Crohn’s Disease. I was ever so happy. I mean, there were still restrictions on the food I could eat (like no canned tomatoes, alcohol, fruits with high levels of citric acid) and occasionally I did experience flare-ups but basically I was healthy.

Then in the summer of 2001 I realized that I was experiencing excessive thirst and urination. I had found out in 1996 that taking prednisone could cause Diabetes and I suspected that that was exactly what had happened. I was right.

My then partner (one day husband) Chris and I went through the testing stage, the pill stage and the insulin dependent stage together. But it was only while I was on insulin that I started getting really good control over my sugar levels. Unfortunately, the medications I was adding to my regime plus the insulin were causing me to gain more weight. I began to struggle with high blood pressure, cholesterol and developed a heart mummer. Viral infections (like colds and flues) caused my body to become less sensitive to the insulin I was taking. Soon, I was taking huge amounts of NovoRapid (a fast acting insulin taken with every meal) and Levimer (a slow acting insulin taken once in the morning and once at bedtime) which controlled my sugar levels less and less.

I became really depressed and at 38 began to think of what I could do to get my life back. I had ideas, but nothing really panned out. At 39, I was so depressed that I confessed to my endocrinologist, Dr. Pike, that I was at my wits end and really didn’t know where to turn. I was close to 300lbs and just sinking emotionally. He suggested the gastric by-pass surgery. I ran with the idea.

And now you are up to date on how I got here, keeping this blog and explaining why I have gone through such a drastic, life altering experience.

“What was my weight before the surgery”? You ask. A girl should never tell, but I will. I was 312 lbs. It has been 2 weeks of preparation time and 6 days since the surgery and I am now at 290lb. I am no longer taking insulin and some of my medications. I’m on my way. Not bad, eh?