Friday, January 25, 2008

Darth Tish's Temper Tantrum

"But I don't want to" said Darth Tish, as she lay on the floor kicking, screaming, and red faced.

"What do you mean?" Tish asked.

"I mean, I don't wanna go and you can't make me!"

"Make you do what?" Tish inquired.

"Make me go to the gym!" Darth Tish said with such an emphatic pout that her bottom lip almost hit the floor.

"Well, I'm not making you go." Tish stated.

"But I should go," said Darth Tish.

"Should you?"

"Yup, I should. But I don't want to," Darth Tish said as she twisted her hair into a knot.

"Why should you go?" Tish asked.


"Because why?"

"Because!" said Darth Tish stomping her foot.

"Because is not an answer," Tish said, "It is a question that requires an answer."

"Because it's good for me" Darth Tish admitted sullenly.

"Oh" Tish said, nodding her head in agreement.

"But I don't want to go"

"You look really mad. I mean, you certainly look like you are having a wonderful, full blown temper tantrum about this." Tish said.

"Well, I do do wonderful temper tantrums. You should see the ones I have about eating junk food." Darth Tish said with twisted half smile.

"Yes," said Tish, "but that still does not address why you don't want to go to the gym."

"Ya, well, I don't want to go because I don't want to go. Like, why should I have to make myself do something else? Haven't I already made myself do so much?" whined Darth Tish.

"Sure," Tish agreed, "you have done a lot. Waiting for surgery, surgery itself, all that vomiting, two dilation procedures and don't forget all that weight loss."

"Ya," said Darth Tish emphatically, "it has been a lot. And why should I have to do more? Why isn't there, like, a magic pill that I can take that makes all my muscles strong and kick-starts my weight loss again?"

"Well, science has not progressed that far," Tish explained. "But I'm sure that one day there will be such a pill. But in the mean time what are you going to do about this?"

"Well," Darth Tish drawled, "I guess I should go to the gym. But I am just having such a hard time getting there and I don't know why. I mean, I do have some fun. And I do like the way I feel after a work-out. And I do want to look better and feel stronger."

"Sometimes you don't have to understand why you behave in a certain way. What is really important is that you just change the behaviour," Tish said. "Does that help?"

"Ya, I know." Darth Tish agreed. "But it don't really change this motivation problem."

"No it doesn't."

"I guess I just have to do it, don't I?" Darth Tish said, as she frantically looked for an easy way out.

"Yup," Tish approved.

"Okay, I'll try again to get my butt to the gym today."

"Okay. I'll check in with you again tomorrow," Tish said.

"Alright," said Darth Tish, sulking, as she packed her swimsuit in her duffel bag. "We will have this conversation again tomorrow."

Monday, January 14, 2008

The Apron

I am at the point in my weight loss adventure, where I have become really annoyed with all the extra skin that is now hanging around. Most disconcerting is the skin that is hanging off of my belly. It was there when I was 100 pounds heavier, but it kind of stuck out more and was away from my body. Now it just hangs, like an apron, and rubs against the skin underneath.

It is hot and moist under there. A happy place for bacteria and grossness. I recently have begun developing serious skin infections under the apron. It has become uncomfortable, unhealthy and I am generally unhappy about it. I have been washing, of course, and I have been using a cream to help keep the production of yeast down. But the skin itself has become very thin and splits easily. It's now time to start researching reconstructive surgery.

So I guess I will conclude this entry with two points.
If you ever decide to have this surgery
1) be prepared to be really grossed out by your weight loss
2) start saving now for reconstructive surgery

Sunday, January 13, 2008

New Photos

June 19, 2007
January 13, 2008
I finally had to go out and buy a pair of pants. Everything was just sliding off me. I didn't even have to undo the button or unzip the zipper! They just fell down. Yes, I am happy about it. The pants I bought are already to big for me so I am going to have to take them in a bit, but they sure fit better than what I had before.