Hard Wired to Eat

I may have discussed this before, but it has become such an issue for me as of late, that I am blogging about it again.    Over the last few months I have stared to put weight back on.  This is to be expected.  All gastric by-pass patients begin to increase their weight after the first 1 1/2 years.  It has to due with the fact that the pouch has stretched out. thus accommodating more food, combined with the fact that most people begin to feel sensations of hunger again.  In my case, it has to do with the fact that I have also developed a "grazing" style of eating.  Basically I eat really small portions and I eat all day long.  The end result of this behaviour it that I am consuming way to many calories.

I began to do some research into the proper amounts of food intake.  My research reminded me, yet again, of how ridiculous the Canadian Food Guide is.  It asks people to consume way to much food in a day.  My research also lead me to understand the importance of creating muscle when exercising.  So, with this information in hand, I have tried to reduce the number of times I graze in my fridge and  increase the number to times I go to the gym with my modified routine which now incorporates weight training.  "So what is the problem?" you may ask.

The problem is that, in spite of the gastric by-pass, my increased knowledge and my desire to maintain my weight loss, I just can't stop eating!  I am not saying that I am binge eating again, rather I am just eating really small amounts of food every couple of hours and the accumulation of all that food results in my overeating!  I am so frustrated!  

I recognize that my  brain is not set up for our 20 century constant access to food.  (I would thrive as a Neanderthal!) I understand that I am hard wired to eat.  But even armed with this knowledge, I just can't seem to control my food intake.  I cannot believe how angry, frustrated and scared I am right now. I idea of gaining my weight back is terrifying.

So, yet another day goes by, where I resolve to do better, acknowledge each small success and try not to beat myself up with each failure.