Sleep

I recognize the need for sleep. Just plain, old every day sleep. I certainly know the value of sleep when sick or trying to heal. In fact, to my understanding, one heals best when they are asleep due to the peak release of growth hormones. Therefore, I am in complete agreement with my surgeon's assessment that I should take sleeping pills to help me sleep during the first week after my Lower Body Lift (due to the fact that normal sleep is disturbed by pain). But this is my slippery slope.

I have a food addiction. I know, therefore, that I have an addictive personality. I know that my addictions have never spread to pain medication. However, my body responds to sleeping pills like Snow White responded to the Wicked Stepmother's poison apple. I drop, dead asleep. Man, do I sleep.

Once before, in a time of great stress, I asked my Doctor for sleeping pills and she gave them to me. Why wouldn't she? We both knew at that point that I did not abuse pain medication. She prescribed, Lorazepam, which did the trick. However, if I missed taking the pill even once, I would have psychedelic dreams that were certainly not conducive to restful sleep. So, I decided to kick the habit. It was not easy. In fact, to my surprise, it was impossible. I tried every trick in the book; taking ½ pill, taking the pill every second day, going from Friday to Sunday without. Anything I could think of to get off the damn things. Nothing worked.

Now luck was with me on this one because, over a years use of Lorazepam was wiped out by a week of a Morphine/Demerol cocktail that I was being given after my gastric by-pass surgery. I just didn't take the Lorazepam while I was in hospital. I was able to use one drug to kick the habit of the other. I believe happy was a good way to describe what I was feeling,

My sleep cycle went back to normal and I have not had a problem with it since. Until now. Yup, the sleeping pills that I have currently been given to help me sleep, included Lorazepam. I took them right after the Lower Body Lift. I confess, I needed them. The ability to sleep through the night had been completely stripped away by pain.

And now, one week later, there is a small plastic bag on my night table, here in San Jose that still holds several little white, harmless looking Lorazepam pills. I knew that I had to stop now. I already could feel that they were a problem and they are because, here I am, laying in my bed at 4:22am blogging.

The adventure continues.